srsly, like who can resist mario?

anywayyyyyyys.
mbw sucked.
):!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
made me so stressed that my hair curled.

i must say, the bbq is coming along quite well.
its their first time.
and i cant help but feel like im too strict.

baked.
and watched tuesdays w morrie.
filled w such life touching moments that can really just happen t anyone actually.
made me tear quite a bit.

When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.

Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling.

Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, its also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it.

The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

If you don't have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don't have much at all. Love is so supremely important.

im really scared to die srsly. bt its smtg that you've got t face. would it be better if you knew when you're going t die. i dont think i'll knw what t do. i think i'll continue t live in denial. until my body detoriates. or would you lend your body as a 'textbook'. so others can learn and possibly find a cure for the next victim. or be like morrie, bask in the love of his family and friends.

right now, i feel extremely shallow. for getting angry w berd when he falls aslp on me. or when we go out and we end up fighting over really ntg at all.
for getting angry w my parents cause they just tease me abt certain things that i take rather srsly. or doing stupid things. or forcing me t go out w them.
its so shallow. how come we dont appreciate things.

i dont think its actually possible in singapore t get a grave that's near a tree. and a nice pond. where visitors actually get t sit down for a while. talk t your tombstone and feel like you're still ard t actually listen t what they say and how much they miss you. like a private tombstone thats personal and peaceful.
or maybe we do.
i dontknw. bt if we dont, then its quite sad.

im still scared of death.
and the dark. and growing up.
i dont think i want t grw up actually.
im afriad of being dependent. im afriad of not being able t get a job.
and not being able t earn enough money t support me, allow me t do the things that i want t do and create a nicenice kitchen that has nicenice crockery and allows me t be messy.
im growing increasingly appreciative of how hard working and how family orientated my parents are. though they might forget t dapao dinner home for us sometimes, bt they still care.
bt if we dont move on, we dont learn and we dont grow. and we dont lead a better life. apparently, t morrie.
somehow, i feel like there's a morrie out there that everyone knws.
prolli like your grandma or grandpa.

bt talkg abt aging, would you rather want t still be alive t witness your 100 years on earth?
i dont think i'll want t.
by then, i'll either need a walking stick or a wheel chair.
i cant understand what the nextnextnext generation is talkg abt.
everything will be so different.
and i'll be senile. and by looking at how unhealthy i am right now, i'll be even worst.
i'll prolli even need someone t take care of me.
):!
i dont want t be a burden. not that my grandparents are.
their still perfectly healthy and they can cook! and its not like their 100 anyways.
i cant cook for nuts.
):

do you think there's such a thing as recarnation?
that we actually somehow.. 'learn' things that happen in our 'past life'.
like, if i was a really lousy person, i'll be ultra good in my next life. cause i've learn my lesson on that being lousy doesnt do you any good.
bt if i was ultra good in my previous life, i'll be a rebel in my life now. cause i'm sick of being good and that i wna do something that allows me t go crazy.
/:

August 05, 2007

cinamonrolls.

why do we have evening exams?
sogrumpy.
and its just for gems!!
i dont even have a main paper in the morning or afternoon.
im just going t sch at 5 for an one hour paper.
then go home.
thankfully there's berd jade edmund yan rong and malcolm.
i dont even knw whether ivern is going t turn up.
haha.

why do we communicate thru offline msg marian?
bt its a nice surprise la.
t always go online and see an offline msg.
haha!
we shall go out soon k.
i will plan the agenda!
go tcc la. then camp there.
:D!

9:18 PM

August 04, 2007

into the sun.

I never meant to let you go,
Why did I leave? Maybe we'll never know.
But im a man now broken on the ground,
Im in need and I think that it shows.

i feel like that emoicon.
where the stickman just keeps walking and banging into the wall.
walking and walking and walking.
and nvr learning.

so bored.
):

i just realised that our class has alot of hints.
like srsly ALOT.
hahaha.
poor edmund.
hahahahahahaaaaaaaa.

):

i stayed home today!
YES! accomplishment.

gahhgehhgahh.

4:56 PM

August 03, 2007

i want t fall aslp in front of the tv.
pretend that i dont care abt you.
pretend that i dont have exams t worry abt.
pretend that i know what im doing.

why is it that its so hard t read people's emotions?
why is it so hard for me t say the things that you want t hear?

saturdays are usually the days we go out, have so much fun that we lose track of time and i have t rush off t meet my parents for dinner.
bt im not going out w you tmr.
and sundays are usually meant for work. which i really dread going in the morning bt end up smiling by closing.
bt im not working anymore.
does that mean that i have t study?

why do things turn out so differently from how we want them t turn out?

why is it that we often hide things and expect them t magically disappear?

why is it that we cant see into the future & not touch the past t cause a butterfly effect?

why do i have such poor judgement.

i just want t be left alone.

11:06 PM

August 02, 2007

nobody has t knw.

and i dontknw why i feel so lost.
and we shall take it back t the start.

and i feel so heartbroken.
i finally made that call.
and now, i regret it so much.
one year has gone pass sofastsofast.
and i dont think i'll ever get a grip on how fast time flies.

i tried t be the best that i can be.
and somehow, i still feel like i havent put in everything.
maybe, maybe its meant t be like that.

dont be sad.
everything will be like what we dream for.
yeah, thats what you say..

whats this craze abt SHE.
zhili, now engkiam.

listen t music that makes you feel happy.
baby,ifyoustripyoucangetatip.

9:36 PM

July 31, 2007

mario&lugi.

so..

ytd was fun.
class class class.
and since they said we werent going t do anything for mbw, berd and i went out!
very implusive la.

simpsons!
super not impressed.
except the fact that berd kept laughing.
okay la, its funny and so lame.
bt i guess, it really links w the whole livearth thing.

I ain't got no Visa
I ain't got no Red American Express
We can't go nowhere exotic
It don't matter 'cause I'm the one that loves you best
Talk to me girl

CT!

6:21 PM

July 27, 2007

this photo makes me LOL.
like really loudly.
so unglam.
look at justin w he's berms.
and the funny lookg teacher.
hahaha.
those were the days.
those were the days when everything seemed okay.
(:
i feel so much better.

9:20 PM

happy ending.

Wake up in the morning
Stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen
I guess I wish you well
Mmm a little bit of heaven
But a little bit of hell

today, i've learnt a very precious lesson.
friendships are important.
no matter whether you feel like they've left you out or whatever things that may happen during this period of time.
friendships are based on more than that.
friendships are made between people, who dont mind spending time, eating together and making you laugh.
or waiting for each other if one person has gems.
friendships are made between people who are so excited about you going over to their house. and even telling their parents.
friends dont care about how you feel, and will just tell you the truth in your face. cause whether you like it or not, you'll have t face it sooner or later.

and im glad i have such friends.
even though it took me such a long time t figure things out.
and to get my thoughts right.
cause im stubborn and thickskulled.
bt yes, thank you for being my friend even though ive done so much rubbish.

mr edmund lim's lecs always make me laugh.
"chey! i thought this was a wall leh, almost wanted t write on it."
thanks ah mr ed lim.
i think i'll definitely miss BS lessons after this.

why do you make me so sad?

6:58 PM